It took me a while to wipe off this quicksand.
Yesterday, waking up felt like a chore,
Each sunrise demanding a new veil to wear,
A new bridge to cross, a new bird to kill,
Killing to draw the straightest circle.
What kept me grounded-
My infinite checklist of errands, my bottle of tears,
My own little Animal Farm.
But when I weave twenty years into a single day,
My arms feel light and supple,
legs strong enough to wade through the monster’s drool,
So I hope you may see-
That in my giant cauldron of expectations,
The desire to know it all slowly simmers,
And burns, and fades into dust-
I am not the Jack of all trades but the master of one.
I do like the sugar rush and spilling out of the hourglass,
And out of my cauldron, out of this filthy quicksand.
Outside textbooks, it's always a zero sum game,
Where the skies don't have room for all of us,
Where the kindest man is last in line.
I hope you see the chalk lines I drew,
Between spirited and slutty,
Between a friend and a fool,
Between words and feelings,
And outside my heart and home.
A phoenix rising is cliche,
So now, you deal with me.
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